Why Did I Get Lupus?

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace"

(Ephesians 1:7)
     Oh God, I really hate Lupus. I hate how it runs in my family and I hate what it does to me. It keeps me inside the house all day, and I am just sooo tired of staying home.

     I miss my friends. They are all at college and they miss me too. I am thinking of going up to visit one weekend. I miss PSU. I miss the library, the fun of actually being in class, and the beautiful pool.

     "Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. "

(James 3:13-18)

     I drink a drink every day that I am stuck at home. The monotony, I hate it. It makes me angry. I wonder how I got this disease. And why did it have to be me? I know whining isn’t a good thing to do. But I feel like I should state how I feel about this disease at least once. It makes a lot of people miserable.

      I mean, why not whine? But then you realize how many other people out there who have it worse than you. And you don’t want to undermine them. But at the same time…you just wonder…what life would be like if you didn’t have that horrible disease. That’s something I wonder about… What would my life be like if I didn’t have Lupus?

       See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.

Colossians 2:8

      But still I toil on, trying to be positive and trying to uplift other Lupus sufferers that I meet.

      I love you all.