Rooftops

“When our time is up…”

        When my time is up I know I’ll be going to a better place. A place with God by my side. I know that sounds weird to people who aren’t Christian but that’s just what I believe. I love God and I will always feel this way.

“When our lives are done…”

        I don’t really think of lives as being *done* and whatnot. I think we all have a purpose here and that purpose is only know to the person themselves.

“Will we say we had our fun?”

        Despite being sick a lot of the time…I did have my fun. I made fun in my own way. Last night, I drank four hard lemonades and got pretty stinking drunk, but I had fun. I would be doing that with my friends at college. I made my own party. A party of one, and I always had fun. Life doesn’t stop being fun once you get sick.

“Will we make a mark this time?”

        I believe I have made my mark this time. I am helping people with Lupus, Fibro, PTSD, BPD, Bipolar, CFS and DID. For some reason, I just want to help. I guess it is because of my history, being labeled as Bipolar and such…then finding out I had all these monsters inside me. I want to help. I just…want…to help.

“Will we say we always tried?”

        Yes. I have always tried. It’s one of my strong suits: trying. Yesterday I tried to climb a mountain. We didn’t end up climbing the mountain though. But still…I…tried…

        And I know the hand of God is pushing me through all of this.

“Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out…”

        That’s me…just enjoying life. Not letting anyone take me away from my state of being.

“All the love I’ve met…”
        I had a lot of weird relationships when I found out I was sick. A lot of guys wanted sex from me, or wanted to marry me, only a few were *okay*.

        Then I told myself that it wasn’t just love from a soul mate that makes you happy, it’s love from true friends as well.

        A lot of people don’t know this, but you don’t need a soul mate to be eternally happy. Just love the life around you. Like me, I love everything.

“I have no regrets…”

        Living life with no regrets is the way to be. That’s how I live my life. We really shouldn’t regret anything, because everything in our lives has made us a different person today.

        For those of you who think I’m naïve, idealistic, etc. for saying this…bite me. I am who I am. I’m going to share what I believe has made me a better person.

“If it all ends now, I’m set.”

        This may sound crazy, but I prepare for everyday to be my last. That’s why I just try to live life to the fullest, no matter how horrible the day was. You have to do that if you want to be free.

“Standing on the rooftops, wait until the bombs drop…”

        Then of course there is drama that sneaks into my life from time to time. I used to get angry about it…and now I just say “bite me”. Seriously, that’s what I say. Because life is too short for all that BS.

“This is all we got now, scream until your heart stops…”

        Yup I may be stuck at home due to a couple incurable conditions, but God gave me the gift of music and I’m going to use it to help others. And he made me smart so I’m going to be doing Criminal Justice as my major. I should have done that when I first got to college. I guess I just wasn’t thinking. All we have is our lives and our happiness. We just need to grab onto each day.

“Never gonna regret watching every sunset…”

        No more regrets. I’m not gonna have any more regrets.