-There are many reasons that people get into fights. Some just like being right, others don’t want you to have the horrible disease, while others just think you’re crazy.
-Arguing for the sake of being right is just useless. It’s a waste of air and energy. I remember a person from my past that was like that. And I want to ask…did it make your life better to argue over stupid things and did it empower you to get into my business and argue. No one gets in my business anymore. I just do not let them.
-I know my parents didn’t want me to have this disease. And I understand why. Lupus is a horrible disease. It doesn’t have a cure and well, it’s difficult to manage.
-I forgive them… but…this is my fight. And please let me fight it….
-Seriously…I have to do a lot of this on my own. Not many people have the correct answers for me. And sadly well, I have to find my own.
-Yelling and screaming at me isn’t going to change my mind. I’m still going to seek out the truth. I’m not a child, I’m very much an adult. And I am tired of being told what it is and what it isn’t.
She had been sleeping all day and all night. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. All the doctors she visited didn’t have any answers for her. She was so upset with her reality…all the pain and fatigue. Was there no end?
Time seemed like an eternity… Each day went by so slow. She was too exhausted to do anything else but stare up at the ceiling, hoping for it all to end.
Chronic Fatigue…yes, that was where all her pain was coming from; but she was strong and she could do it. That’s what she always told herself. But there were times when she felt weak and couldn’t go on.
She didn’t have a lot of help at home. Her parents refused to believe she was sick and disowned her. She felt so alone and didn’t know how to move forward again. But she knew that eventually one day she was going to have to. She was brave and resilient…but she was scared.
“What if I’m wrong and I don’t have Lupus and I just have something autoimmune, not otherwise specified like my doctor told me?”
-I double-guess myself a lot because only inflammation showed up in my blood tests. It hurts me to be in this horrible place. My doctor is stumped and looks at me like a Cop does to a psychic when he has tried everything and has gotten no results.
-I’m really the only proof he has. My story leads him to the right path. I just tell him what I noticed about my body.
-In a way I’m helping him help me, because my intuition is so strong about this.
-I have an intuition that gets really strong about painful and personal situations. It’s always been this way. Somehow…I just knew.
-I guess I’ve always known I had Lupus. I relate completely to the symptoms. I have this disease but it doesn’t have me.
She soon finished her run and came across a church. The church was beautiful, made of lime stone, the walls painted white, with a bell tower on top of the monument. She then noticed a statue in the front of the yard.
She was drawn to the church and even more drawn to the statue. She decided to walk over to it. She looked up at the beautiful stone woman. It wasn’t naked. It had a gorgeous round face and grey eyes. It had flowing hair that went down to her feet.
It stood tall in robes that went down to the ground. It looked so calm and didn’t even seem scared of pain.
Nicole wasn’t like that…she had not found happiness due to Lupus. She was afraid her doctor was wrong… It really was true; every case of Lupus was so different. Sometimes she just didn’t know what was going on.
She gently pressed against the woman’s breasts and pushed. Why she was pushing against the statue, she did not know…but something inside urged her to do that.
Sometimes equations and tests didn’t matter. It was the intuition that led the way.
