Drained2

It was 5 a.m in the morning. She had to be at work by 8. She decided to go for a walk. Her doctor recommended it; it would help with the joint pain.

        She dressed and went for a run. Her bright red hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She blinked her light blue eyes; she was exhausted. Outside the cold air bit against her body, making her feel weaker and more tired. Her hands and feet were already starting to turn blue.

        It was the Raynauds Syndrome. She had poor circulation in her hands and feet. It was a part of her disease. She hated it. She had trouble tolerating the cold. That’s why she usually stayed in during the winter months.

        But now the sun was starting to rise and she had hope that it was going to get warmer soon. She ran alone because she didn’t want to burden anyone with her illness. It was too hard to keep up with other people. And what if she had an attack and had to go home. She wasn’t going to ruin other people’s fun just to get some exercise. She needed to go at her own pace and to have fun for as long as she possibly could.

        She lost her boyfriend after the diagnosis. Somehow he knew he just wasn’t going to be able to deal with all of that: the attacks, the fatigue, the mood swings. He left her in cold heat.

        Now all she wanted was someone to hold her hand throughout the trying time she was in. She had to have it. She needed it. But it wouldn’t come.